First let me start by saying I don't even wear a watch. Why? You ask.. Well, I am unable to wear watches. I know sounds crazy as shit but it really isn't. I manage to conduct so much electricity in my fabulous body that I kill any watch I wear within 2 months. Yeah that's right! and even better, in the winter time when static is at its best I can touch you and shoot a 3 inch lightening bolt off my finger. that's right, that shit is awesome! so anyone who really knows me, if they see me coming at them with my Harry Potter wand finger sticking out, they know they better run. However, should I forget about my magicial powers and happen to grab a metal door knob I am fucked! My arm goes flying back and a small electrical blast go out my elbow. Sucks balls! And scare the piss out of me. Wow, this blog has really nothing to do with what I just told you about. but I hope it was entertaining enough for you to continue reading.
Confusion, where do I begin. I have a lot of it going on right now. Like why did my boyfriend have to die? Before we consummated the relationship! But I am not going to talk about him so much. Did enough of that my last sappy blog. How about my 16 (almost 17) year old daughter tells me today that my 12 year old daughter asked her last night about sex and loosing your virginity. WHAT!!!! these are my babies! And I have 3 daughters!! So I am super screwed! WOW! and as I am typing this my 9 year old daughter just texted me that she just walked in on the oldest having sex! OMFG!!! If my fucking head wasn't in a whirlwind spin before, it sure is now. I know the girl has sex, I got her birth control. She just hasn't started it yet. I am not going to be a gramma until I am gramma age, and that's like 70! Damn these girls now a days!!! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!
Now I have completely lost focus on what I even wanted to blog about in the first place. So I am forced to go smoke a cigarette and hope it comes back to me or I will just have to ramble some more. Well the cigarette didn't help. OH WELL, more rambling it is.
So I am so bored with my job. I hate interviewing broke ass people everyday that really can not afford our memberships. Oh wait, in case you don't know me, let me tell you a little bit about what I do, I am a Membership Consultant/Relationship Specialist with a professional matchmaking service in the Washington, DC area. So when I get anyone in here that makes under $50k, I am just like- oh gawd, what am I going to do with these people. And of course, they only want to meet people who make $100k or more to take care of them and their 4 kids. Come on people, get real! And even better is when I get the foreign women who come in because their visa is ready to expire so they need to get married to stay in the states. Really????? isn't there dating sites for that? Please don't waste my time. With my job I am in the office 7-10 hours a day, only working about 3 hours. All the rest I am on facebook usually reading http://www.insanemombrain.com/ or watching movies on netflix or playing cards with my boss. I really enjoy those perks but i can not support my kids on this salary (which REALLY sucks!) wahh, wahh, waaaahhhhh! I know I hear your little violins playing. I guess the moral of this story is that I am looking for a new job. I wish selling sex was legal. I'd be a millionaire! I love sex and I love money. Don't judge! You know you would do it too if you knew that no one would ever find out. Just like now, I have to interview some super mega ugly ass middle easterner that doesn't make shit and is shorter than I am. I spent most of my day today sending out my resume. And my resume, well its actually 3 pages long. I haven't kept a job for more than 6 months since 2004. Yup that's how I roll! I get bored real quick and I HATE asshole bosses!
got a client, I'll have to update this tomorrow
xoxoxoxo
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