Seeing the Ex

So Samantha has done gone and got herself pregnant. I am totally not happy about it. I hate her boyfriend, plain and not so simple. I used to love the kid, but he did some fucked up shit. I take her to her first prenatal doctors visit on Tuesday, September 18. She proceeds to go to work in the afternoon. She calls me just about 90 minutes later hysterically crying that she thought something was wrong, she was having really bad cramps and started bleeding. (I hate to say it but I was hoping she did not have this kid!!) My heart starts racing and I immediately put my sneakers on, I am ready to actually run all the way to her work (she had my car). Luckily she only works a mile away. She ended up driving home. I had already paged her doctor before she got home. She was in fact bleeding, pretty bad. So we took off to the emergency room. I called her dad and told him what was going on. Without a moment’s notice, he said that he was at work but he would have someone relieve him so he could be there for Samantha. (I later found out he was just at home making dinner...)

Chris is generous enough to pick up Samantha’s boyfriend on the way. (He hates him even more than I do) He texted me when they were there. I went outside to greet them (aka smoke a cigarette). When he got out of the jeep and started walking towards me, I felt that feeling that I feel every single time I see him. No, I'm not talking about that hatred burning feeling that takes over my body, I am over that. But that warm fuzzy feeling. And my heart starts racing. I know how to fix this, I think to myself. So I text Jon (New man that I am digging, I'll blog about him next). Jay walked up and went right into the emergency room while Chris and I stayed outside. He tells me that it took everything he had in him not to pull over on 66 and beat the shit out of Jay. I know exactly how he feels!

We spent the next few hours going outside about every 20-30 minutes to smoke a cig. I run out of cigs and he offers to take me to 7-11 to get more. So we tell the kids we are going to go to sev and we would be right back. We're on the way and he spies the Roy Rogers. OMG, his eyes lit up like a kids on Christmas. I found it funny. Needless to say we had Roy Rogers. It felt so weird being next to him in a vehicle and not have my hand on his lap or holding it. A few things happened on this journey; Chris tells me that he has another daughter. He suspected it before; I've always thought it was his brother’s kid. (The chick was having sex with both of them). The girl does look just like our daughter Mia, however Mia looks just like her cousin DJ (his brother’s son)......

I had told him about this guy I met at Hard Times and he was a friend of a friend. Total lie. We listened to Chris' band on reverbnation Yeah, he's in a new band, The Pharmacists. I was like, oh the guy I just told you about is on there and be tee dubs, he plays better than you (with a winky smiley face). So we listen to a couple of his songs. I was thinking in my head, OMG this is so fucking awkward, but damn Jon is awesome!!!! He even says that the guy is really awesome. I smile and think in my head, I know.

Meanwhile, I am texting Jon the whole time. Jon was due back the next day (or so I thought, but he had come home earlier that day). The more I am with Chris, the more I am thinking about Jon and how I wish I was at his place, chilling the couch watching a movie or anything on TV or just even listening to him play the guitar. There's no way I am telling him that I am dating this guy (is it even called dating? we actually only went out 2 times). The only 2 guys that have ever met my kids also met Chris. However I never saw one guy again (OMG, he is sexy as fuck!! I mean like throw you up against the wall and rip off your clothes sexy!!!) And the other one I was just casually dating- yes casual dating, NO SEX.... So I wasn't sabotaging this "relationship" (and I use the term lightly).
It was so weird with chris. We talked about things and people like nothing had ever changed between us. Same kind of conversations that we could have had when we were together. Just without the constantly kissing and hugging. Shits cool between us now, I can't help but wonder.......I wonder if he ever thinks the same of me?