I hate it when life gets even more complicated than it already is. I am in the most screwed up position right now, I just don't know what to do.
I got a new job at the holiday inn near my house. I work in the mornings as a server and some evenings in the banquet department working parties. Well, I just found out that when I do banquet events I only get paid my hourly pay ($7). Yet the company charges the event holder a 20% fee. OK! I did catering sales, in a hotel. And I know damn well that we paid the individuals that worked that fee. The only person that doesn't get a part of it is the bartender. I busted my ass for this holiday party on Sunday. I was so pissed when I found this out! What fucking place does this? So I am back looking for a new job, again. I hate looking for jobs! I miss the days when they came to me. UGH! Its so frustrating. Oh, and when I work breakfast I don't make shit. I had been working with someone so we split tips. I was going home with between $15-25. I worked by myself twice this week. One day I made about $20 and then next $60. Sure, its not bad for 6 hours of work, but its not enough to take care of my family. So frustrated!
Men, men, men! Wow, now this is where shit gets complicated. So the man that I had blogged about in September (the one that I really liked but I fucked it up) is back in my life. But not how I want. He made it clear that we are "just friends". Or in his words, and I quote, "I like hanging out with you but that's as far as it goes. You're my friend but, I don't want more than that. I'm not the asshole, I don't mean to be. I like your company. I don't want to complicate that. I'm not a faker, if you feel that I led you on. I never told you I love you or that you're the one. We hang out, we have a good time. If you expected more you should have said something more"............... really douche bag??? What part of "hey, I see your single again. can I have another chance?" did you not fucking get? When I had texted him that, his reply was yes. Yet a week later here we are. I am not going to lie. I do enjoy being around him. I just don't know it its really him or just that I am with someone or just the fact that I am out of the house.
Cue next craziness, the ex, oh my the ex.... Well in October I made the "mistake" of telling my ex I was "excited". Well bam 45 minutes later we are naked in the bathroom at my work. Afterwards he says, this is just sex. Yeah, I am cool with that! Well this past weekend it happened again. I had sent him an email at 3am about the kids. He texts me back to see if I was still awake. And there you go, he's at the house about 30 minutes later. After we do our thing I pull such a douche move. I was like, well thanks for the awesome ass get off my bed and go sleep on the couch. And he's all like, yeah I guess it would confuse the kids if they woke up to mommy and daddy in the same bed. ya think??? He was supposed to come over the next day anyways to hang with the kids. In the morning the oldest kid texts him to see when he was coming over and he tells her that he is already here. All she could muster up was "awkward".
And the next guy.... Oh my! Now this one, I should not be talking to at all! Its just asking for trouble. But I can't help it, I like trouble. No he is not a bad boy. he is just young, very young. I met him 2 years ago when I was staying at my moms, from the same dating site that I met guy #1. He was 24 then. He is in college and he is very sexy! I have not had sex with him, yet. We only communicate 6 months of the year, the other six he is in another state. Well he is back home and hit me up the other day. Damn, why do I put myself in these spots? I like sex, I really really do. I am only with DB #1 so I can date other guys and not have sex with them. Yet I can't seem to find a guy that I like. One that I can just chill with like guy #1. Here's what I need, I need a human mixer. Take some parts from guy #1- how awesome it is when we hang out with the certain body parts of guy #2 and the fact that I can have him over my house and the "eagerness" of guy #3, that would be perfect. But no, life is no where near perfect!
Blah, all this thinking, cleaning, and job hunting for the past few hours has made me exhausted. I'm taking a nap.
Thanks for reading!
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
New Job...Work...Work...Work....
I am going to start off by telling you about the weight loss challenge. My friend Amber and I are busting our butts at the gym. We had gone almost every day last week working out anywhere from an hour to 2 hours. I didn't realise it was so fun to work out with a buddy. We did our measurements as well. I have done very well for our first week, now to just keep it going. Now with my work schedule it has been tough for the past few days.
Speaking of work. So I am not at MVC/Le Tache anymore (after December 11 I will do a massive bitch blog about them). I have been wanting to get back into the hospitality industry for a couple of years now. Looking for a new job had been so horrible! The online applications SUCK!!!! All I needed was a place that I could go in and apply in person because I am awesome!! Well that happened. I did it, and I got the job, on the spot! Where did I get a job you ask, well thats the sucky part. I got a job in the restaurant/banquet department of a Holiday Inn up the street from the house. Here's how it was explained to me, first start out doing breakfast serving in the full service restaurant, then add on working in banquets, then working server during the dinner shift, then to bartender. However, there is a huge catch. Noone can know of my experience. Which really sucks because I am a sayer not a doer! I get people to do work, I don't like to do it myself. For instance today, today they had to set up a conference in the restaurant area. OMG!!!!! it took them over 30 minutes to figure out how to set up the tables (for 12 people!!). It was as if they had never held a meeting at the hotel before, and its 4 years old. Finally I was just like, HOLD UP, look put the tables like this, place the other tables over there, cover them like this, and BAM. So then the Restaurant Manager (who get his, his last name is Asshat, HTF can I take anyone serious with a name like that) anyways, he gets there and asks why the meeting is set up like that. First I wanted to say, well you told me yourself that you don't have anyone reliable in the banquets department yet you are showing up an hour before it starts AND you still have to make their lunch???? Whatever, I told him why I thought it was the best way, not to mention it was listed on the banquet order to be set up like that. He looks at me and says, yeah you're right. DUH OF COURSE I'M RIGHT!!!! I wanted to just say, dude, I have worked in every department in the hotel yet I have never worked in one this small. I could do circles around you in my sleep! He talks to the staff like they are all stupid, which they totally are not, they are all Latina and smart as shit!! And really care about their jobs and making the customers happy.
Oh, let me backup to serving for breakfast. For the time being the guests get either a free buffet breakfast coupon ($8.99 value) or a coupon for up to $20 off anything on the breakfast menu. Well NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE orders off the menu. People will pay for only 1 guest in the room yet 4 will come to eat. The lady training me (whose birthday also happens to be the same as my daughters-TODAY) never offers it. I told her today, look, I know its going to piss off the ladies in the kitchen but I want to start offering the guests the menu. As of January 1 we will no longer be serving the free buffet anyways, why not start getting into the habit now. Right now we are making between $6-$20 a day in tips. That is not enough to live on! The breakfast prices are $8.99-$12.99 plus drinks and extras, that's at least $3 per person. Right now we are averaging $.50 a person. I hope she doesn't mind but I am trying it tomorrow. For example, we have had this group in house since Friday. And have only been tipped about $.50-$1.00 for their lunch (which was only $9.95) Most didn't tip at breakfast.
~ be tee dubbs people, if you go to a hotel and you get breakfast *even if its free, and you are eating off nice plates, real silverware, and someone gets you your beverage and cleans up after you TIP THEM YOU JERKS!!!!!
Anyways..... Well yesterday the RM sent my "trainer" home and had me stay to take care of the only 2 people who ordered food from the restaurant (I'll get to the shit in a minute). well, these 2 ladies lunch was $15.00/together. And they tipped me $6.00. OK, back to there only being 2 people eating lunch. FUCK THAT!!! The lady in sales who booked that shit needs to be slapped (especially since she is the owners wife, she should know better!!!) Our restaurant isn't open for lunch, just catering. Who the hell books a meeting for 35 people yet permits only 2 people to order? Seriously, we had to have a server, a cook, and a dishwasher on staff for a $15 tab, hell to the no!!!!! At least 50% or a minimum of 12 people need to order. We have alot of banquets and meetings this week. Hopefully I'll get to show my mad skills again!
I am also going to talk to the GM about working some dinner shifts. I am sure they make way more money, plus they get an automatic 20% gratuity for room service. Not to mention, I HATE working at 5:30am. Anyways, I hope that I can get somewhere with this job. Either way, it is my first steps to running a bed & breakfast, which I will do!
Damn, I really wanted this to be a more fun blog but I got on a rant. Tomorrow, or tonight if I can't sleep I will post about the dating thing.
Speaking of work. So I am not at MVC/Le Tache anymore (after December 11 I will do a massive bitch blog about them). I have been wanting to get back into the hospitality industry for a couple of years now. Looking for a new job had been so horrible! The online applications SUCK!!!! All I needed was a place that I could go in and apply in person because I am awesome!! Well that happened. I did it, and I got the job, on the spot! Where did I get a job you ask, well thats the sucky part. I got a job in the restaurant/banquet department of a Holiday Inn up the street from the house. Here's how it was explained to me, first start out doing breakfast serving in the full service restaurant, then add on working in banquets, then working server during the dinner shift, then to bartender. However, there is a huge catch. Noone can know of my experience. Which really sucks because I am a sayer not a doer! I get people to do work, I don't like to do it myself. For instance today, today they had to set up a conference in the restaurant area. OMG!!!!! it took them over 30 minutes to figure out how to set up the tables (for 12 people!!). It was as if they had never held a meeting at the hotel before, and its 4 years old. Finally I was just like, HOLD UP, look put the tables like this, place the other tables over there, cover them like this, and BAM. So then the Restaurant Manager (who get his, his last name is Asshat, HTF can I take anyone serious with a name like that) anyways, he gets there and asks why the meeting is set up like that. First I wanted to say, well you told me yourself that you don't have anyone reliable in the banquets department yet you are showing up an hour before it starts AND you still have to make their lunch???? Whatever, I told him why I thought it was the best way, not to mention it was listed on the banquet order to be set up like that. He looks at me and says, yeah you're right. DUH OF COURSE I'M RIGHT!!!! I wanted to just say, dude, I have worked in every department in the hotel yet I have never worked in one this small. I could do circles around you in my sleep! He talks to the staff like they are all stupid, which they totally are not, they are all Latina and smart as shit!! And really care about their jobs and making the customers happy.
Oh, let me backup to serving for breakfast. For the time being the guests get either a free buffet breakfast coupon ($8.99 value) or a coupon for up to $20 off anything on the breakfast menu. Well NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE orders off the menu. People will pay for only 1 guest in the room yet 4 will come to eat. The lady training me (whose birthday also happens to be the same as my daughters-TODAY) never offers it. I told her today, look, I know its going to piss off the ladies in the kitchen but I want to start offering the guests the menu. As of January 1 we will no longer be serving the free buffet anyways, why not start getting into the habit now. Right now we are making between $6-$20 a day in tips. That is not enough to live on! The breakfast prices are $8.99-$12.99 plus drinks and extras, that's at least $3 per person. Right now we are averaging $.50 a person. I hope she doesn't mind but I am trying it tomorrow. For example, we have had this group in house since Friday. And have only been tipped about $.50-$1.00 for their lunch (which was only $9.95) Most didn't tip at breakfast.
~ be tee dubbs people, if you go to a hotel and you get breakfast *even if its free, and you are eating off nice plates, real silverware, and someone gets you your beverage and cleans up after you TIP THEM YOU JERKS!!!!!
Anyways..... Well yesterday the RM sent my "trainer" home and had me stay to take care of the only 2 people who ordered food from the restaurant (I'll get to the shit in a minute). well, these 2 ladies lunch was $15.00/together. And they tipped me $6.00. OK, back to there only being 2 people eating lunch. FUCK THAT!!! The lady in sales who booked that shit needs to be slapped (especially since she is the owners wife, she should know better!!!) Our restaurant isn't open for lunch, just catering. Who the hell books a meeting for 35 people yet permits only 2 people to order? Seriously, we had to have a server, a cook, and a dishwasher on staff for a $15 tab, hell to the no!!!!! At least 50% or a minimum of 12 people need to order. We have alot of banquets and meetings this week. Hopefully I'll get to show my mad skills again!
I am also going to talk to the GM about working some dinner shifts. I am sure they make way more money, plus they get an automatic 20% gratuity for room service. Not to mention, I HATE working at 5:30am. Anyways, I hope that I can get somewhere with this job. Either way, it is my first steps to running a bed & breakfast, which I will do!
Damn, I really wanted this to be a more fun blog but I got on a rant. Tomorrow, or tonight if I can't sleep I will post about the dating thing.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Weight Loss Challenge Part 4
Ok, so this is part 4 of my weight loss challenge. And oh has it been a challenge! So I tried 2 different weight loss supplements.One month I did Slimquick. And the next I did Alli. I think I lost more on Alli, however the side effects are horrible. I'll let you google those yourself. Slimquick did help with my appetite. However, I did start this challenge at about 204 (I honestly don't remember) then this week I got up to 217, no shit!!! However, after seeing "the man" again, I got a quick reality check to get my ass in shape. I always lose weight better when a man is involved. Whether I see him in real life or just an internet/text "relationship". I haven't been involved with anyone since September so I haven't really been focused on the gym or getting in shape.
Let me reevaluate my plan, first off I am going to make sure I get my 8 glasses of water a day, I know that this makes a huge difference. Next I have to watch the late night eating. And the third part is staying focused on working out! I am super sore today, but that's all good. I am going to work out abs and legs again, they aren't sore enough from yesterday. My girl, Amber is going to help me along on this journey. Having a real live person really helps. We both are in the same boat, I am just 40 pounds more than her. But we got this!!
Let me reevaluate my plan, first off I am going to make sure I get my 8 glasses of water a day, I know that this makes a huge difference. Next I have to watch the late night eating. And the third part is staying focused on working out! I am super sore today, but that's all good. I am going to work out abs and legs again, they aren't sore enough from yesterday. My girl, Amber is going to help me along on this journey. Having a real live person really helps. We both are in the same boat, I am just 40 pounds more than her. But we got this!!
How Weird The Way Things Happen
Good Morning Campers!
I know I haven't written in a while, life's been crazy! So let me catch you up. I turned 40! Wow, its finally here. I stopped smoking cigarettes, 90% at least. You know what, let me try to keep this blog focused on one topic. And I'll go with the one that is the most pressing on my mind (well one of the two). So I blogged a couple of months agout about this man. Well last week I had to drive up the street he lives off of. I had a passing thought and then I wished I could have him back. Go figure, Friday I am out with my friends and I happen to check my OKCupid account. And guess who comes up as a local perfect match. HIM!! So of course I emailed him. I had to. I mean come on, with what had happened just days before, and bam he is single again. He did email me back right away, an exchange of numbers, and bammo. So I hung out with him Saturday like nothing bad had ever happened. I will definitely do things a little different. I won't talk about ex's or other men. And I won't get drunk. Another cool thing, he has quit smoking too.
He looks so adorable! Grew out his beard and his hair, I love it. He lost weight, toning up his muscles even more. So you know what that did, got my ass back at the gym. I had gained 20 pounds since the "split". There are some things that are on my mind though (like enough that I couldn't even sleep Saturday night, yes at his place) So, should I mark my territory? Should I ask him right off the bat, just so we are clear, -hey are you going to still be dating other women? He's good, very good. He knows just how to make you feel like you are the only one. But due to what happened last time, I know better. I just don't want to come off too strong too fast. However, when I did email him, I did ask if I could have another chance. Did that make my point clear? Its not like I said, hey want to have sex? I mean this shit kept me up all night long. And usually when I stay at his place I sleep very well in his bed.
Here is a minor fault with him. Every time we were supposed to watch a movie that lil shit would go and watch it anyways (just like my sister does my mom). So this week, we are supposed to watch Batman on Thursday. I swear if he watches it before then( it comes out tomorrow), I will be so pissed.
Damn, like now as I write this, all I can think about is kissing him. I almost went all the way to his place just to do just that last night. But I didn't. ALMOST, but I didn't. I have balls, big balls. Just not big enough right now. I just want to tell him how I feel and whats up. I think I am just going to let it ride this out, for the first week.
Oh, and the crazier part, I had just started talking to the ol' FWB again, I will just keep that to a non physical relationship. And I met another guy at the local watering hole. Now that guy is cool as shit, he just is not physically my type, at all. We were supposed to hang out Friday, but my girlfriend asked me to come hang out with her, and I chose her over him (fantastic night BTW). I didn't text him at all, all weekend. And I am not cancelling any of my "memberships" just yet. oh, and I haven't added him on Facebook again, just yet. I mean, hell, he just became "single" Thursday (yes- he moves fast).
So I'll catch you up to date on that next week.
cheers!!!!!
I know I haven't written in a while, life's been crazy! So let me catch you up. I turned 40! Wow, its finally here. I stopped smoking cigarettes, 90% at least. You know what, let me try to keep this blog focused on one topic. And I'll go with the one that is the most pressing on my mind (well one of the two). So I blogged a couple of months agout about this man. Well last week I had to drive up the street he lives off of. I had a passing thought and then I wished I could have him back. Go figure, Friday I am out with my friends and I happen to check my OKCupid account. And guess who comes up as a local perfect match. HIM!! So of course I emailed him. I had to. I mean come on, with what had happened just days before, and bam he is single again. He did email me back right away, an exchange of numbers, and bammo. So I hung out with him Saturday like nothing bad had ever happened. I will definitely do things a little different. I won't talk about ex's or other men. And I won't get drunk. Another cool thing, he has quit smoking too.
He looks so adorable! Grew out his beard and his hair, I love it. He lost weight, toning up his muscles even more. So you know what that did, got my ass back at the gym. I had gained 20 pounds since the "split". There are some things that are on my mind though (like enough that I couldn't even sleep Saturday night, yes at his place) So, should I mark my territory? Should I ask him right off the bat, just so we are clear, -hey are you going to still be dating other women? He's good, very good. He knows just how to make you feel like you are the only one. But due to what happened last time, I know better. I just don't want to come off too strong too fast. However, when I did email him, I did ask if I could have another chance. Did that make my point clear? Its not like I said, hey want to have sex? I mean this shit kept me up all night long. And usually when I stay at his place I sleep very well in his bed.
Here is a minor fault with him. Every time we were supposed to watch a movie that lil shit would go and watch it anyways (just like my sister does my mom). So this week, we are supposed to watch Batman on Thursday. I swear if he watches it before then( it comes out tomorrow), I will be so pissed.
Damn, like now as I write this, all I can think about is kissing him. I almost went all the way to his place just to do just that last night. But I didn't. ALMOST, but I didn't. I have balls, big balls. Just not big enough right now. I just want to tell him how I feel and whats up. I think I am just going to let it ride this out, for the first week.
Oh, and the crazier part, I had just started talking to the ol' FWB again, I will just keep that to a non physical relationship. And I met another guy at the local watering hole. Now that guy is cool as shit, he just is not physically my type, at all. We were supposed to hang out Friday, but my girlfriend asked me to come hang out with her, and I chose her over him (fantastic night BTW). I didn't text him at all, all weekend. And I am not cancelling any of my "memberships" just yet. oh, and I haven't added him on Facebook again, just yet. I mean, hell, he just became "single" Thursday (yes- he moves fast).
So I'll catch you up to date on that next week.
cheers!!!!!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Weight Loss Is A Challenge
I have been doing horrible at going to the gym. There was this guy, Jay working there and it was always a joy to chat with him before and after my late night workouts. However, he got a better job and moved on. Not even the tanning has me motivated to go. But I was thinking, I am going to be forty in less than a month. I am not going into my forties weighing over 200 pounds. Yes, I do!!! And I am so ashamed to say it. If I could even loose 15 pounds over the next month, I guess that's a good start.
Why am I like this? Its not like I'm not trained. I worked for LA Weight Loss for a few years, I look frigging awesome then! (when I wasn't pregnant) after that I became a certified personal trainer. Why can I not use that knowledge now? I am such a fat lazy ass! Hold on, let me weight myself.... BRB.. Ok, here's what my scale had to say "get off me fat ass!!", nah JK. So I weigh 205.6lbs and I'm almost 1/2 fat, NO SHIT!!! 44.3% fat. That's bullshit.
I started Insanity today. I did the fit test. I am so far from fit its ridiculous. But here are my scores:
1. switch kicks:25
2. power jacks: 25
3. power knees: 50
4. power jumps: 10
5. globe jumps: 4
6. suicide jumps: 4
7. push-up jacks:1 (no that is not a typo)
8. low plank obliques: 15
Boy do I have a rough road ahead of me. When I was cooling down at the end of the workout, I had put my head down during a stretch. Wow the sweat just poured onto my face from my body, like gross!!
I also started on Alli. WOW, that stuff is some shit! If you eat any fat, woooooooaaaaaahhhhh, not a good time. I went from weekly BM to multiple times a day. I still have not got ahold of my late night eating. I hate my medication!
I plan to update this "weight loss entries" blog every 7 days. I truly hope it gets better and better. With my wacked out schedule I don't know if I can complete this workout 6 days a week. But I am going to try.
Why am I like this? Its not like I'm not trained. I worked for LA Weight Loss for a few years, I look frigging awesome then! (when I wasn't pregnant) after that I became a certified personal trainer. Why can I not use that knowledge now? I am such a fat lazy ass! Hold on, let me weight myself.... BRB.. Ok, here's what my scale had to say "get off me fat ass!!", nah JK. So I weigh 205.6lbs and I'm almost 1/2 fat, NO SHIT!!! 44.3% fat. That's bullshit.
I started Insanity today. I did the fit test. I am so far from fit its ridiculous. But here are my scores:
1. switch kicks:25
2. power jacks: 25
3. power knees: 50
4. power jumps: 10
5. globe jumps: 4
6. suicide jumps: 4
7. push-up jacks:1 (no that is not a typo)
8. low plank obliques: 15
Boy do I have a rough road ahead of me. When I was cooling down at the end of the workout, I had put my head down during a stretch. Wow the sweat just poured onto my face from my body, like gross!!
I also started on Alli. WOW, that stuff is some shit! If you eat any fat, woooooooaaaaaahhhhh, not a good time. I went from weekly BM to multiple times a day. I still have not got ahold of my late night eating. I hate my medication!
I plan to update this "weight loss entries" blog every 7 days. I truly hope it gets better and better. With my wacked out schedule I don't know if I can complete this workout 6 days a week. But I am going to try.
Monday, October 15, 2012
More changes coming along
Welcome back!
Well some things have changed since my last blog. Well only one man thing and I won't blog too much about it. I have finally received the text message I have been waiting for for over 2 years. Chris and his girlfriend broke up. OH YES!! No, not that I am hoping to get back together with him. Just for the fact he can finally feel what it feels like to be lonely. He said that he is currently staying with his mom (you know, the wicked bitch of Springfield). And he plans to move to Fredericksburg sometime. I offered for him to stay here on any weekend that he wants to spend time with the girls. I can easily stay with a friend.
So that's it for right now. I have been up to my usual Gina shenanigans but I just don't want to blog about it yet.
TTYL!
XOXOXOXO
Well some things have changed since my last blog. Well only one man thing and I won't blog too much about it. I have finally received the text message I have been waiting for for over 2 years. Chris and his girlfriend broke up. OH YES!! No, not that I am hoping to get back together with him. Just for the fact he can finally feel what it feels like to be lonely. He said that he is currently staying with his mom (you know, the wicked bitch of Springfield). And he plans to move to Fredericksburg sometime. I offered for him to stay here on any weekend that he wants to spend time with the girls. I can easily stay with a friend.
So that's it for right now. I have been up to my usual Gina shenanigans but I just don't want to blog about it yet.
TTYL!
XOXOXOXO
Monday, October 8, 2012
How I got here....
With all of the blogs I have done over the last 2 years, I have never really talked about how I got here. I went to an AA meeting the other day and the first guy to speak told us how right before he left for the meeting his wife told him that she didn't want to be with him anymore. And that got me thinking. The woman (his wife) described, sounded just like me. And everyone telling him what a bitch she is and how great he is. And it made me realize, wow I need to do another blog. So, lets back up to 2008.
My marriage was pretty weak, I'll admit it. I was married to a really great man. He was an awesome dad. He was a great provider, a great best friend, yet a horrible husband. So we started going to marriage counseling. On our 3rd visit the therapist asked when to schedule our next appointment. Chris told him thank you but there was no need we worked everything out. I'm thinking in my head, wow- I didn't notice a difference. But hey, if he noticed then that was good, right? This was in the fall of 2008. I had been out of work since April 2008. So life goes on, yet he didn't change. Or at least what I was mad about didn't change. He still wasn't doing his "husband" duties. Now if he was bitching about me not giving the ass up, everyone would be telling him how horrible I was and that I should just cheat. Yet since he was the one not putting out, I was the bad person. You know, I didn't have one, not one friend tell me that I should cheat, well one did (I'll get to that bitch later). Every month that went by and he didn't put out I just got meaner and meaner. I need sex! Plain and simple. Just 10 minutes of his time, that's it. Finally I have had enough (not literally of course) so I had him sign a contract. Yes, you read right! A fucking contract! (literally) He agreed to the terms, otherwise he should not have signed it. The terms were simple, he had to give me sex at least once a month. Thats it, thats all I requested. His excuse was always that he was so tired. I'm like, so the fuck what, just lay there I'll go the rest. Seriously, it got so bad that for a while I was crushing up viagra and putting it in his drinks, yup TRUE STORY!! But at $17 a pop, that shit got expensive! So I had him sign the contract in January 2009. Then May gets here, he STILL isn't giving up the ass. Well its time to renew our lease. I didn't really want to stay. I had a friend who had been telling me to leave him and take the girls and move in with her (by the beach). But no, I figured he would change. Which I should have known, he hadn't changed in 8 years.....
So Memorial Weekend gets here and its time for us to renew our lease (well actually the end of June but Chris wanted to renew early for some reason). So we new our lease and a couple of days later I was up in our bedroom watching tv and he was in the basement watching tv. So he strolls into the bedroom, pale as a ghost. he leans up against the wall and says, um sweetie-I'm done. I'm like, done what? He said again, I am just done? I'm like were you doing a puzzle or something? he plainly says, I am done being married. I feel like a big fat whale has been dropped on me. I start crying and asking why can't we just talk about this, why does it have to be over. even though I feel as though it has been over for years. But here's the thing that gets me, why now? What has happened to make him finally say that he is done trying? Even thru all the bullshit, every, and I mean EVERY single day he would kiss me while I was "sleeping" and tell me he loved me before he went to work. (hell no I wasn't sleeping, 1-I was trying to see if there was any morning wood to take advantage of, and if not 2-I was going to whip out the Hitachi the second I heard him pull away from the house!) And every night before he went to sleep he would do the same thing. Two days before he asked for the divorce he had texted me, "I just want to tell you how much I love you". You know, I kept that text on my phone until it got stolen last November. I don't know why, it made me cry each and every time I read it.
So he goes to move out. We have a mutual friend and I knew that his roommates had just moved out. So I called him and told him what had happened and he said he would talk to Chris and work something out. I had Chris sign a separation agreement stating what he was going to be responsible for for the next year since he renewed the lease knowing damn well that he was leaving, and I hated him for that. Here comes the crazy part. After he moved out, every time he came over he would still hug and kiss me. closed mouth, but still, he would kiss me. So I guess that I held onto hope that we would get back together. About a week or so after he moved out, I was in a depression like nothing I had ever experienced before. I couldn't do shit. I wasn't even able to get up to get the kids off to school. All I did was sleep about 20 hours a day and cry. cry all of the time, it was horrible. As unhappy I was with this man I loved him, I loved him more than I had or ever will love anyone.
So I happen to be on facebook and I noticed that this total skank whore that we both knew had moved back to VA that same weekend. So I called him and asked him if she was the final straw that broke the camels back (like seriously, I am a big girl but this broad is a BIG BIG girl). Woah, lemme back up. She had moved to Florida back in October 2008. Yet I would see her texting with him all the time. He would just tell me that she was bored, WHATEVER!! they say hind sight is 20/20. So that's what made me think that something was going on between them. In fact, she had even told me one night when we were out that she was going to steal my husband and that she bet that she could get him to fuck her before I could... Fucking Whore, OMG... I am getting so heated just thinking about her.
So one night I had had enough. I bought a gallon of vodka. I drank almost the entire thing and took a bunch of Xanax and passed out, hoping that I never woke up in the morning. I know, selfish, fucking selfish thing to do to my children. But I just couldn't handle it anymore. I just didn't want to be alive. I was a piece of shit mother, a horrible friend, and an even worse wife. I just wanted it all to be over! That night I completely lost it. I not only put all of that stuff in my body I also hit my oldest daughter right across the face. I don't remember why, but I do remember doing it. (needless to say she hasn't ever got in my face since then) I awoke in the morning and told my best friend, who is also my sister, what I had done. She called Chris and told him to get the kids after school that she was taking me to the hospital. I ended up getting put in the psych ward for 5 days. After day 3 I really wanted to go home. My nurse sat me down (she already knew what had happened to get me in there) and calmly says, Gina, your husband just left you and left you with the kids. Screw him!!! Make him stay with the kids and you stay in here for a couple more days to work on you. He needs to see what you are going to have to deal with for at least the next 13 years. Think of it as a vacation.... During that time I met an awesome chick, and we have remained friends ever since. Well, Chris was actually the person to come get me from the hospital. I had hope something had changed in his mind. But no, this just solidified it for him that he would be better off without me. And that made me even more mad. How can he say that about me, and think that I am such a horrible person, yet he was leaving his 3 young children in my care. Who does that? A selfish mother fucker that's who! Guess that makes two of us.
So time goes buy. December gets here and Chris' roommate calls me to tell me that he is kicking Chris out. I asked why and he told me that Chris hadn't paid rent in almost 2 months, PUMP THE FUCKING BRAKES!!!!! I had been giving him money every week to pay for his rent, what the hell was he doing with it? Well Chris moves out of our friends house. But I had no idea where he was staying. I was too scared to ask. That friend had told me that he thought Chris was seeing someone (great, another stab to the heart). Then January, I will never, never, ever forget this. I had had a dream that Chris was seeing that fat whore. So I texted him about it, I always shared my crazy dreams with him. He texted back that he had something to tell me. Oh man, here we go again with the heart thing. He then proceeds to tell me that he had in fact been seeing that fucking fat whore bitch! No shit!!!!! Bam, right in the kisser. I go bizerk again. I proceed to tell the chick's parents what a whore their daughter is, blah, blah, blah, like they didn't already know. Well, the fat ass decided to get a restraining order on me for "cyber bullying". How fucking stupid.
Chris had moved in with this chick at her parents house (real classy for a married man who just left his wife whom he had been with for 13 years and his 3 kids). I may like me some 20-something fellas, but I certainly wouldn't live with him at his parents house, thats just wrong. Do I hold grudges you ask? Yes, yes I do, I am not even going to lie or sugarcoat it.
Here we are, over 3 years (and over 20 blogs) later. They are still together, in their own place. However, I will never be accepting to her, EVER. I'm pretty sure that if I am put within an arms reach of her, I will tear her ass up. I am however decent with the ex. I have to be. I do not have to ever be friends with that backstabbing whore.
Yes, I know it takes two to tango. I have hated him for 3 years. I still have to be civil to him for the next 9 years, nothing more, nothing less. He is more involved with the girls now. he makes sure to try and take all three one weekend a month. So, in a loooong story that is how the "Real Suburban Housewife" got here.
My marriage was pretty weak, I'll admit it. I was married to a really great man. He was an awesome dad. He was a great provider, a great best friend, yet a horrible husband. So we started going to marriage counseling. On our 3rd visit the therapist asked when to schedule our next appointment. Chris told him thank you but there was no need we worked everything out. I'm thinking in my head, wow- I didn't notice a difference. But hey, if he noticed then that was good, right? This was in the fall of 2008. I had been out of work since April 2008. So life goes on, yet he didn't change. Or at least what I was mad about didn't change. He still wasn't doing his "husband" duties. Now if he was bitching about me not giving the ass up, everyone would be telling him how horrible I was and that I should just cheat. Yet since he was the one not putting out, I was the bad person. You know, I didn't have one, not one friend tell me that I should cheat, well one did (I'll get to that bitch later). Every month that went by and he didn't put out I just got meaner and meaner. I need sex! Plain and simple. Just 10 minutes of his time, that's it. Finally I have had enough (not literally of course) so I had him sign a contract. Yes, you read right! A fucking contract! (literally) He agreed to the terms, otherwise he should not have signed it. The terms were simple, he had to give me sex at least once a month. Thats it, thats all I requested. His excuse was always that he was so tired. I'm like, so the fuck what, just lay there I'll go the rest. Seriously, it got so bad that for a while I was crushing up viagra and putting it in his drinks, yup TRUE STORY!! But at $17 a pop, that shit got expensive! So I had him sign the contract in January 2009. Then May gets here, he STILL isn't giving up the ass. Well its time to renew our lease. I didn't really want to stay. I had a friend who had been telling me to leave him and take the girls and move in with her (by the beach). But no, I figured he would change. Which I should have known, he hadn't changed in 8 years.....
So Memorial Weekend gets here and its time for us to renew our lease (well actually the end of June but Chris wanted to renew early for some reason). So we new our lease and a couple of days later I was up in our bedroom watching tv and he was in the basement watching tv. So he strolls into the bedroom, pale as a ghost. he leans up against the wall and says, um sweetie-I'm done. I'm like, done what? He said again, I am just done? I'm like were you doing a puzzle or something? he plainly says, I am done being married. I feel like a big fat whale has been dropped on me. I start crying and asking why can't we just talk about this, why does it have to be over. even though I feel as though it has been over for years. But here's the thing that gets me, why now? What has happened to make him finally say that he is done trying? Even thru all the bullshit, every, and I mean EVERY single day he would kiss me while I was "sleeping" and tell me he loved me before he went to work. (hell no I wasn't sleeping, 1-I was trying to see if there was any morning wood to take advantage of, and if not 2-I was going to whip out the Hitachi the second I heard him pull away from the house!) And every night before he went to sleep he would do the same thing. Two days before he asked for the divorce he had texted me, "I just want to tell you how much I love you". You know, I kept that text on my phone until it got stolen last November. I don't know why, it made me cry each and every time I read it.
So he goes to move out. We have a mutual friend and I knew that his roommates had just moved out. So I called him and told him what had happened and he said he would talk to Chris and work something out. I had Chris sign a separation agreement stating what he was going to be responsible for for the next year since he renewed the lease knowing damn well that he was leaving, and I hated him for that. Here comes the crazy part. After he moved out, every time he came over he would still hug and kiss me. closed mouth, but still, he would kiss me. So I guess that I held onto hope that we would get back together. About a week or so after he moved out, I was in a depression like nothing I had ever experienced before. I couldn't do shit. I wasn't even able to get up to get the kids off to school. All I did was sleep about 20 hours a day and cry. cry all of the time, it was horrible. As unhappy I was with this man I loved him, I loved him more than I had or ever will love anyone.
So I happen to be on facebook and I noticed that this total skank whore that we both knew had moved back to VA that same weekend. So I called him and asked him if she was the final straw that broke the camels back (like seriously, I am a big girl but this broad is a BIG BIG girl). Woah, lemme back up. She had moved to Florida back in October 2008. Yet I would see her texting with him all the time. He would just tell me that she was bored, WHATEVER!! they say hind sight is 20/20. So that's what made me think that something was going on between them. In fact, she had even told me one night when we were out that she was going to steal my husband and that she bet that she could get him to fuck her before I could... Fucking Whore, OMG... I am getting so heated just thinking about her.
So one night I had had enough. I bought a gallon of vodka. I drank almost the entire thing and took a bunch of Xanax and passed out, hoping that I never woke up in the morning. I know, selfish, fucking selfish thing to do to my children. But I just couldn't handle it anymore. I just didn't want to be alive. I was a piece of shit mother, a horrible friend, and an even worse wife. I just wanted it all to be over! That night I completely lost it. I not only put all of that stuff in my body I also hit my oldest daughter right across the face. I don't remember why, but I do remember doing it. (needless to say she hasn't ever got in my face since then) I awoke in the morning and told my best friend, who is also my sister, what I had done. She called Chris and told him to get the kids after school that she was taking me to the hospital. I ended up getting put in the psych ward for 5 days. After day 3 I really wanted to go home. My nurse sat me down (she already knew what had happened to get me in there) and calmly says, Gina, your husband just left you and left you with the kids. Screw him!!! Make him stay with the kids and you stay in here for a couple more days to work on you. He needs to see what you are going to have to deal with for at least the next 13 years. Think of it as a vacation.... During that time I met an awesome chick, and we have remained friends ever since. Well, Chris was actually the person to come get me from the hospital. I had hope something had changed in his mind. But no, this just solidified it for him that he would be better off without me. And that made me even more mad. How can he say that about me, and think that I am such a horrible person, yet he was leaving his 3 young children in my care. Who does that? A selfish mother fucker that's who! Guess that makes two of us.
So time goes buy. December gets here and Chris' roommate calls me to tell me that he is kicking Chris out. I asked why and he told me that Chris hadn't paid rent in almost 2 months, PUMP THE FUCKING BRAKES!!!!! I had been giving him money every week to pay for his rent, what the hell was he doing with it? Well Chris moves out of our friends house. But I had no idea where he was staying. I was too scared to ask. That friend had told me that he thought Chris was seeing someone (great, another stab to the heart). Then January, I will never, never, ever forget this. I had had a dream that Chris was seeing that fat whore. So I texted him about it, I always shared my crazy dreams with him. He texted back that he had something to tell me. Oh man, here we go again with the heart thing. He then proceeds to tell me that he had in fact been seeing that fucking fat whore bitch! No shit!!!!! Bam, right in the kisser. I go bizerk again. I proceed to tell the chick's parents what a whore their daughter is, blah, blah, blah, like they didn't already know. Well, the fat ass decided to get a restraining order on me for "cyber bullying". How fucking stupid.
Chris had moved in with this chick at her parents house (real classy for a married man who just left his wife whom he had been with for 13 years and his 3 kids). I may like me some 20-something fellas, but I certainly wouldn't live with him at his parents house, thats just wrong. Do I hold grudges you ask? Yes, yes I do, I am not even going to lie or sugarcoat it.
Here we are, over 3 years (and over 20 blogs) later. They are still together, in their own place. However, I will never be accepting to her, EVER. I'm pretty sure that if I am put within an arms reach of her, I will tear her ass up. I am however decent with the ex. I have to be. I do not have to ever be friends with that backstabbing whore.
Yes, I know it takes two to tango. I have hated him for 3 years. I still have to be civil to him for the next 9 years, nothing more, nothing less. He is more involved with the girls now. he makes sure to try and take all three one weekend a month. So, in a loooong story that is how the "Real Suburban Housewife" got here.
THE BEGINNING OF THE END........
Monday, October 1, 2012
Weight Loss Challenge Part 2
Well, I am well into the weight loss challenges. I am having mixed feelings. I am working out 5 days a week at the gym (20 minutes total on the elliptical and 30 minute circuit) and a couple of times at home. I was taking Slimquick, gained 8 pounds the first week. Yes, gained-not lost. so then I switched to Jillian Michaels Jumpstart Kit. I have only lost 3 pounds in a week. Oh don't give me that "oh thats a great start" BS, I should have lost at least 10 pounds the first week on them. I have alot of body fat, especially in my booty and baby holder.
So I went out and bought a real scale today. When I had done biggest loser on wii today, it said I had dropped 11 pounds. I knew that was too good to be true because my clothes still feel the same (tight). Yup, the new scale said a loss of 3.5 pounds. yucky-shit-poo-damnit
However, that is not going to make my motivation stop to do this! I will be 40 VERY, VERY soon. And I want to look as good at 40 as I did at 30. (however 20 would be even better)
I tried the whole no carbs thing, nope that didn't work. (damn sushi and wine!) I don't have a fridge at work so it's very dangerous to take my cooked "proteins" to work. I am there for 14.5 hours so I need to have food that lasts all day. Which usually consists of 2 weightloss shakes, 4 fruits, and 1 smart ones frozen meal.
These late night munchies are killing me though! And no, I don't mean from smokin weed. I wish it was from that, but no. I have to take this one med to keep me from killin' fools. And thats a bad side effect. I am beginning to think I would rather be crazy and skinny that fat and sane.
I guess I just need to stock up on eggs, bacon, and steak and go back to adkins. I lost 75 pounds in under 6 months that time. (but when it came back, it came back with a vengence)
Just to scare me skinny I am posting one of my "before" pictures.
So I have started drinking cuke water again, I love that stuff. So tonights dinner is tacos for the family. That means taco meat, lettuce, cheese, and sour cream for me.
See ya in a couple of days........
Signed,
Fatty
So I went out and bought a real scale today. When I had done biggest loser on wii today, it said I had dropped 11 pounds. I knew that was too good to be true because my clothes still feel the same (tight). Yup, the new scale said a loss of 3.5 pounds. yucky-shit-poo-damnit
However, that is not going to make my motivation stop to do this! I will be 40 VERY, VERY soon. And I want to look as good at 40 as I did at 30. (however 20 would be even better)
I tried the whole no carbs thing, nope that didn't work. (damn sushi and wine!) I don't have a fridge at work so it's very dangerous to take my cooked "proteins" to work. I am there for 14.5 hours so I need to have food that lasts all day. Which usually consists of 2 weightloss shakes, 4 fruits, and 1 smart ones frozen meal.
These late night munchies are killing me though! And no, I don't mean from smokin weed. I wish it was from that, but no. I have to take this one med to keep me from killin' fools. And thats a bad side effect. I am beginning to think I would rather be crazy and skinny that fat and sane.
I guess I just need to stock up on eggs, bacon, and steak and go back to adkins. I lost 75 pounds in under 6 months that time. (but when it came back, it came back with a vengence)
Just to scare me skinny I am posting one of my "before" pictures.
So I have started drinking cuke water again, I love that stuff. So tonights dinner is tacos for the family. That means taco meat, lettuce, cheese, and sour cream for me.
See ya in a couple of days........
Signed,
Fatty
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Not Just One But Two Challenges.....Part 1
I have decided to take on not one but two weight loss challenges. One I was introduced to the first one by the guy at my gym. Its with him, his wife, and some of their friends/family. They are ALL way smaller than I. And they were already almost 2 weeks in. The second is with a guy from my work. the challenge between us is who can lose 40 pounds first. I am pretty sure there is no "prize" in either of these challenges, except for looking and feeling so much better. After all, I have the big 4-0 coming up soon.
You may be thinking, well Gina I thought you were happy with yourself? No. No I am not. and I haven't been since 2004.
Back then I only weighed 149 pounds. It was still 14 pounds above what my "ideal" weight is supposed to be, but I think I looked HOT! My weight insecurities really started when I saw a video of myself a couple of weeks ago. I really didn't like the way I looked in it, at all. So I grabbed a bottle of SlimQuick from my local Walmart and got to it.
So I didn't really do too well the first 2 weeks of the slimQuick. As a matter of fact I GAINED 8 pounds! Fuck that! So I stopped taking it. So the following week I went to the gym. There's a new guy working, his name is Jay. He is cool as shit. He told me about this weight loss challenge that the above named people are involved in and I said I wanted in. I started on September 19, 2012. I weighed in at a whooping 204lbs. Needless to say, I was depressed as shit! And to top it off I had to take "before" pictures. URGH!!! I actually shed a tear at the shit.
A few of the people in the challenge #1 are losing their motivation. A little evil part of me says "oh goody, less challenge" and the other part of me says "I have to do my part and help keep the motivation going". What if I start to loose my motivation? I am going to need someone to boost me. Remember, I am doing 2 challenges.
Challenge #2
So one of my "coworkers" is having problems with his wife. They are in an "open" relationship. He wants to lose weight in hopes to be able to be accepted to and pick up attractive women at swingers events. (HELL NO!!!! I have no intention of going with him, I am losing this weight for me) I am just competitive and I want to beat him.
I am glad to be working in Manassas now because at least they have a microwave. Man, I was spending about $20 a day on food in Sterling. And it was not healthy. All this week I have been watching what I eat, and closely. Tomorrow morning I am going to do wii Biggest Loser so I can "weigh in". I did my measurements again today. so far, -1in/waist, 1in/baboobies, and 1in/ass.
I have worked out every day this week. Right now, my whole body aches!! But it's all good!
You may be thinking, well Gina I thought you were happy with yourself? No. No I am not. and I haven't been since 2004.
Back then I only weighed 149 pounds. It was still 14 pounds above what my "ideal" weight is supposed to be, but I think I looked HOT! My weight insecurities really started when I saw a video of myself a couple of weeks ago. I really didn't like the way I looked in it, at all. So I grabbed a bottle of SlimQuick from my local Walmart and got to it.
So I didn't really do too well the first 2 weeks of the slimQuick. As a matter of fact I GAINED 8 pounds! Fuck that! So I stopped taking it. So the following week I went to the gym. There's a new guy working, his name is Jay. He is cool as shit. He told me about this weight loss challenge that the above named people are involved in and I said I wanted in. I started on September 19, 2012. I weighed in at a whooping 204lbs. Needless to say, I was depressed as shit! And to top it off I had to take "before" pictures. URGH!!! I actually shed a tear at the shit.
A few of the people in the challenge #1 are losing their motivation. A little evil part of me says "oh goody, less challenge" and the other part of me says "I have to do my part and help keep the motivation going". What if I start to loose my motivation? I am going to need someone to boost me. Remember, I am doing 2 challenges.
Challenge #2
So one of my "coworkers" is having problems with his wife. They are in an "open" relationship. He wants to lose weight in hopes to be able to be accepted to and pick up attractive women at swingers events. (HELL NO!!!! I have no intention of going with him, I am losing this weight for me) I am just competitive and I want to beat him.
I am glad to be working in Manassas now because at least they have a microwave. Man, I was spending about $20 a day on food in Sterling. And it was not healthy. All this week I have been watching what I eat, and closely. Tomorrow morning I am going to do wii Biggest Loser so I can "weigh in". I did my measurements again today. so far, -1in/waist, 1in/baboobies, and 1in/ass.
I have worked out every day this week. Right now, my whole body aches!! But it's all good!
Monday, September 24, 2012
Seeing the Ex
So Samantha has done gone and got herself pregnant. I am totally not happy
about it. I hate her boyfriend, plain and not so simple. I used to love the
kid, but he did some fucked up shit. I take her to her first prenatal doctors
visit on Tuesday, September 18. She proceeds to go to work in the afternoon.
She calls me just about 90 minutes later hysterically crying that she thought
something was wrong, she was having really bad cramps and started bleeding. (I
hate to say it but I was hoping she did not have this kid!!) My heart starts
racing and I immediately put my sneakers on, I am ready to actually run all the
way to her work (she had my car). Luckily she only works a mile away. She ended
up driving home. I had already paged her doctor before she got home. She was in
fact bleeding, pretty bad. So we took off to the emergency room. I called her
dad and told him what was going on. Without a moment’s notice, he said that he
was at work but he would have someone relieve him so he could be there for
Samantha. (I later found out he was just at home making dinner...)
Chris is generous enough to pick up Samantha’s boyfriend on the way. (He hates him even more than I do) He texted me when they were there. I went outside to greet them (aka smoke a cigarette). When he got out of the jeep and started walking towards me, I felt that feeling that I feel every single time I see him. No, I'm not talking about that hatred burning feeling that takes over my body, I am over that. But that warm fuzzy feeling. And my heart starts racing. I know how to fix this, I think to myself. So I text Jon (New man that I am digging, I'll blog about him next). Jay walked up and went right into the emergency room while Chris and I stayed outside. He tells me that it took everything he had in him not to pull over on 66 and beat the shit out of Jay. I know exactly how he feels!
We spent the next few hours going outside about every 20-30 minutes to smoke a cig. I run out of cigs and he offers to take me to 7-11 to get more. So we tell the kids we are going to go to sev and we would be right back. We're on the way and he spies the Roy Rogers. OMG, his eyes lit up like a kids on Christmas. I found it funny. Needless to say we had Roy Rogers. It felt so weird being next to him in a vehicle and not have my hand on his lap or holding it. A few things happened on this journey; Chris tells me that he has another daughter. He suspected it before; I've always thought it was his brother’s kid. (The chick was having sex with both of them). The girl does look just like our daughter Mia, however Mia looks just like her cousin DJ (his brother’s son)......
I had told him about this guy I met at Hard Times and he was a friend of a friend. Total lie. We listened to Chris' band on reverbnation Yeah, he's in a new band, The Pharmacists. I was like, oh the guy I just told you about is on there and be tee dubs, he plays better than you (with a winky smiley face). So we listen to a couple of his songs. I was thinking in my head, OMG this is so fucking awkward, but damn Jon is awesome!!!! He even says that the guy is really awesome. I smile and think in my head, I know.
Meanwhile, I am texting Jon the whole time. Jon was due back the next day (or so I thought, but he had come home earlier that day). The more I am with Chris, the more I am thinking about Jon and how I wish I was at his place, chilling the couch watching a movie or anything on TV or just even listening to him play the guitar. There's no way I am telling him that I am dating this guy (is it even called dating? we actually only went out 2 times). The only 2 guys that have ever met my kids also met Chris. However I never saw one guy again (OMG, he is sexy as fuck!! I mean like throw you up against the wall and rip off your clothes sexy!!!) And the other one I was just casually dating- yes casual dating, NO SEX.... So I wasn't sabotaging this "relationship" (and I use the term lightly).
It was so weird with chris. We talked about things and people like nothing had ever changed between us. Same kind of conversations that we could have had when we were together. Just without the constantly kissing and hugging. Shits cool between us now, I can't help but wonder.......I wonder if he ever thinks the same of me?
Chris is generous enough to pick up Samantha’s boyfriend on the way. (He hates him even more than I do) He texted me when they were there. I went outside to greet them (aka smoke a cigarette). When he got out of the jeep and started walking towards me, I felt that feeling that I feel every single time I see him. No, I'm not talking about that hatred burning feeling that takes over my body, I am over that. But that warm fuzzy feeling. And my heart starts racing. I know how to fix this, I think to myself. So I text Jon (New man that I am digging, I'll blog about him next). Jay walked up and went right into the emergency room while Chris and I stayed outside. He tells me that it took everything he had in him not to pull over on 66 and beat the shit out of Jay. I know exactly how he feels!
We spent the next few hours going outside about every 20-30 minutes to smoke a cig. I run out of cigs and he offers to take me to 7-11 to get more. So we tell the kids we are going to go to sev and we would be right back. We're on the way and he spies the Roy Rogers. OMG, his eyes lit up like a kids on Christmas. I found it funny. Needless to say we had Roy Rogers. It felt so weird being next to him in a vehicle and not have my hand on his lap or holding it. A few things happened on this journey; Chris tells me that he has another daughter. He suspected it before; I've always thought it was his brother’s kid. (The chick was having sex with both of them). The girl does look just like our daughter Mia, however Mia looks just like her cousin DJ (his brother’s son)......
I had told him about this guy I met at Hard Times and he was a friend of a friend. Total lie. We listened to Chris' band on reverbnation Yeah, he's in a new band, The Pharmacists. I was like, oh the guy I just told you about is on there and be tee dubs, he plays better than you (with a winky smiley face). So we listen to a couple of his songs. I was thinking in my head, OMG this is so fucking awkward, but damn Jon is awesome!!!! He even says that the guy is really awesome. I smile and think in my head, I know.
Meanwhile, I am texting Jon the whole time. Jon was due back the next day (or so I thought, but he had come home earlier that day). The more I am with Chris, the more I am thinking about Jon and how I wish I was at his place, chilling the couch watching a movie or anything on TV or just even listening to him play the guitar. There's no way I am telling him that I am dating this guy (is it even called dating? we actually only went out 2 times). The only 2 guys that have ever met my kids also met Chris. However I never saw one guy again (OMG, he is sexy as fuck!! I mean like throw you up against the wall and rip off your clothes sexy!!!) And the other one I was just casually dating- yes casual dating, NO SEX.... So I wasn't sabotaging this "relationship" (and I use the term lightly).
It was so weird with chris. We talked about things and people like nothing had ever changed between us. Same kind of conversations that we could have had when we were together. Just without the constantly kissing and hugging. Shits cool between us now, I can't help but wonder.......I wonder if he ever thinks the same of me?
Sappy Ass Shit, epic fail!!!
Well I did it again. After William died I rejoined a dating site (or 4). I have met a few guys. One guy I went out with a couple of times and I went to his work with some of my friends and Samantha.
Anyways, I would never date this kid on a serious note. For one he is only 24. And two, well I just don't see myself being romantic with him. All he ever talks about is wanting to have sex. Don't get me wrong, I love sex, like alot. However, he just didn't turn me on. So I continued meeting different guys. A couple of times the meetings were less than 30 minutes. One went like this, um, thanks for the tea but um, yeah you're not my type so I am just going to go now. BAM! And that was it. I went out with a few more. Had some good times and great conversations, but again no sparks. Finally, after months and months of scanning hundreds and hundreds of profiles I saw a guy that seemed interesting enough. Even if he did have a self portrait of himself in the bathroom (fully clothed). Which I totally hate. Whatever, I sent him an email. So after a few emails back and forth we decided to meet up. He took me out to sushi. (yes I beaver dammed). Dinner went well so we decided to go out for drinks. This kat was so funny and interesting plus he has the greatest name, Jon Smith. Like seriously, I have never gone out on a date with someone where I actually paid attention to him, just him, the whole time and wasn't scanning the room for another, cuter guy or constantly on my phone texting.
Well this lead to that. And the beaver dam failed. Oh well. So the dry spell ended (8 months and 17 long days!!). We continued to hang out pretty much weekly usually on Saturdays and sometimes during the week. Here's when I started to get heated, totally unexpected. We were just texting about some shit, nothing really important. However he mentioned something to the effect that it was ok for me to sleep with my friend. I was like, woah pump the brakes muther fucker, I am not sleeping with him, he is just a friend. He says that he isn't going to be a hypocrite. BAM!!! So he is still sleeping with other chicks....Holy shit, I got heated as fuck! Like seriously, my whole body just felt like I had been in a tanning booth for an hour. so I had to sit and think for a minute, OMG- did I just get jealous over some guy I just met? After all, I was still talking to other guys, I just wasn't sleeping with any of them. Thats how I prefer to roll. Date a couple, sleep with one. And I told him that. End of story on that, we never discussed it again. I just assumed if we ever got to the spot where we BOTH wanted to just see each other we would discuss it, but not for a while. A couple of weeks go by, we continue to see each other just about every weekend. But here's the catch, I was always the one to initiate any conversation. ALWAYS. As much as we text, never, I mean NEVER has he ever said good night or good morning, EVER. Which made it easier for me to to think of him "that way". Almost every single other guy I have talked to over the last 3+ years has done that, even after the first night of talking. Again, this guy is different. And I think that's why I like him even more, because he different.
I was trying to play it smart. I was not going to let myself get emotional for this guy. I know that he just got divorced so I wasn't even trying. He's still "fresh". Yet, I would give him my undivided attention anytime I was with him (I would even ASK HIM before I texted anyone or tweeted) but when I wasn't with him......HA, who am I kidding, I still thought about him. They way he smells, the way he kisses (I love kissing him, true shit, I am not going to lie), and the way he holds my hand with his small soft hands. Well, he went out of town for a few days, I thought I was going to die of sexual frustration. Luckily I didn't and it wasn't because I decided it was finally time to have sex with someone else, because I didn't. I didn't even go on any other dates during that time (if there ever was a prime time to do it, it was then). So it gets to the day before he gets home (or so I thought). Once again, I hit him up, I couldn't go without talking to him anymore. I thought he was out of town for another day but I HAD to talk with him. But he was already home. WOW, I actually missed him, like alot. And his doggy. His dog is awesome!
Well Samantha ended up in the emergency room (another long story, but she is OK now). Chris came to the hospital. Well, I used Jon as a diversion while I was talking with Chris (for about 5 hours, I'll get to talking with him after I finish this story). I kept texting with to keep me from thinking about grabbing Chris and kissing him. The thought did cross my mind while we were sitting in his jeep talking. I have missed his touch so much. Even after all these years he still hugs me the same way. And it always makes me feel sad and depressed afterwards. But NOT THIS TIME!! I adore Jon's hugs. He hugs the best! So it didn't even phase me. YES finally!!!
So Thursday comes and I'm still texting with Jon, whatever. So Friday comes. I decided, fuck this, I am not going to text him. I don't care how long it takes. BAM! He actually texted me. I was so shocked! So I went over his place after work (yes, 2am booty call). But no, it did not seem like that at all. Holy Shit, when he answered the door and I looked at his eyes my whole body heated up, again. But in a good way, not like the time before. (seemed like some shit right out of fifty shades of grey.) I just wanted to grab him and kiss and hug him and tell him how much I missed him. And that's how the evening, well morning went. He feels so good, just sitting next to him on the couch watching tv. He is really tall and I love reaching up to kiss him. We finally went to sleep around 5am. I woke up to my kids texting me to come make them breakfast. As much as I didn't want to leave, I did. What a great time. I was kinda worried about the way I was "feeling" about him. Too much too fast is all I could think about on the way home. Oh and the smell of him on my shirt. mmmmmmmm!
So now it's Saturday. I know he is going out with friends for dinner and I wanted to go see this band play at Addys. So I go to see the band play with my girlfriend claire and he texts 15 minutes after we get there. Yup, you guessed it, I wussed out and went right to his house. Except this time I took my girlfriend with me. I was already drunk. I had been drinking for about 6 hours. We get to his house, he looked sexy as fuck! It took everything I had for my drunk ass to not just say, um claire, thanks for the ride but, you gotta go!
Now this is where it gets fucked up. I asked for a glass of wine. He gives me a glass of red. He knows I hate red wine yet he thought enough to give my friend white and me red. OMG!!! Cool to mega bitch in a minute. I got so fucking pissed its ridiculous, just because he didn't think to give me the damn white wine. Well that's all I remember from that night. EXCEPT sitting on the side of Sudly Manor at 1am crying my fucking eyes out like some fucking high school girl!!! What the flying fuck!!! seriously! Next thing I remember is my friend picking me up. After that I remember crying in Ethan's lap that I really fucked up and I will probably never see Jon again. I don't recall the last time I cried this hard. Oh yes I do, Memorial Weekend 2009... And if you have read my first blog you know what that was about.
I was right. Jon did text me the next day that he was done. Technically, I asked him if he was done and he said yes, "for now". What the hell is that supposed to mean? I have a pretty good guess. That night I did manage to get a picture of him & I, it's kinda cute. So every day I just look at it and think, "text me something good fucker". Honestly, I don't think it will happen. Why should it? End of story
Me & Samantha at Martin's in DC
Anyways, I would never date this kid on a serious note. For one he is only 24. And two, well I just don't see myself being romantic with him. All he ever talks about is wanting to have sex. Don't get me wrong, I love sex, like alot. However, he just didn't turn me on. So I continued meeting different guys. A couple of times the meetings were less than 30 minutes. One went like this, um, thanks for the tea but um, yeah you're not my type so I am just going to go now. BAM! And that was it. I went out with a few more. Had some good times and great conversations, but again no sparks. Finally, after months and months of scanning hundreds and hundreds of profiles I saw a guy that seemed interesting enough. Even if he did have a self portrait of himself in the bathroom (fully clothed). Which I totally hate. Whatever, I sent him an email. So after a few emails back and forth we decided to meet up. He took me out to sushi. (yes I beaver dammed). Dinner went well so we decided to go out for drinks. This kat was so funny and interesting plus he has the greatest name, Jon Smith. Like seriously, I have never gone out on a date with someone where I actually paid attention to him, just him, the whole time and wasn't scanning the room for another, cuter guy or constantly on my phone texting.
Well this lead to that. And the beaver dam failed. Oh well. So the dry spell ended (8 months and 17 long days!!). We continued to hang out pretty much weekly usually on Saturdays and sometimes during the week. Here's when I started to get heated, totally unexpected. We were just texting about some shit, nothing really important. However he mentioned something to the effect that it was ok for me to sleep with my friend. I was like, woah pump the brakes muther fucker, I am not sleeping with him, he is just a friend. He says that he isn't going to be a hypocrite. BAM!!! So he is still sleeping with other chicks....Holy shit, I got heated as fuck! Like seriously, my whole body just felt like I had been in a tanning booth for an hour. so I had to sit and think for a minute, OMG- did I just get jealous over some guy I just met? After all, I was still talking to other guys, I just wasn't sleeping with any of them. Thats how I prefer to roll. Date a couple, sleep with one. And I told him that. End of story on that, we never discussed it again. I just assumed if we ever got to the spot where we BOTH wanted to just see each other we would discuss it, but not for a while. A couple of weeks go by, we continue to see each other just about every weekend. But here's the catch, I was always the one to initiate any conversation. ALWAYS. As much as we text, never, I mean NEVER has he ever said good night or good morning, EVER. Which made it easier for me to to think of him "that way". Almost every single other guy I have talked to over the last 3+ years has done that, even after the first night of talking. Again, this guy is different. And I think that's why I like him even more, because he different.
I was trying to play it smart. I was not going to let myself get emotional for this guy. I know that he just got divorced so I wasn't even trying. He's still "fresh". Yet, I would give him my undivided attention anytime I was with him (I would even ASK HIM before I texted anyone or tweeted) but when I wasn't with him......HA, who am I kidding, I still thought about him. They way he smells, the way he kisses (I love kissing him, true shit, I am not going to lie), and the way he holds my hand with his small soft hands. Well, he went out of town for a few days, I thought I was going to die of sexual frustration. Luckily I didn't and it wasn't because I decided it was finally time to have sex with someone else, because I didn't. I didn't even go on any other dates during that time (if there ever was a prime time to do it, it was then). So it gets to the day before he gets home (or so I thought). Once again, I hit him up, I couldn't go without talking to him anymore. I thought he was out of town for another day but I HAD to talk with him. But he was already home. WOW, I actually missed him, like alot. And his doggy. His dog is awesome!
Well Samantha ended up in the emergency room (another long story, but she is OK now). Chris came to the hospital. Well, I used Jon as a diversion while I was talking with Chris (for about 5 hours, I'll get to talking with him after I finish this story). I kept texting with to keep me from thinking about grabbing Chris and kissing him. The thought did cross my mind while we were sitting in his jeep talking. I have missed his touch so much. Even after all these years he still hugs me the same way. And it always makes me feel sad and depressed afterwards. But NOT THIS TIME!! I adore Jon's hugs. He hugs the best! So it didn't even phase me. YES finally!!!
So Thursday comes and I'm still texting with Jon, whatever. So Friday comes. I decided, fuck this, I am not going to text him. I don't care how long it takes. BAM! He actually texted me. I was so shocked! So I went over his place after work (yes, 2am booty call). But no, it did not seem like that at all. Holy Shit, when he answered the door and I looked at his eyes my whole body heated up, again. But in a good way, not like the time before. (seemed like some shit right out of fifty shades of grey.) I just wanted to grab him and kiss and hug him and tell him how much I missed him. And that's how the evening, well morning went. He feels so good, just sitting next to him on the couch watching tv. He is really tall and I love reaching up to kiss him. We finally went to sleep around 5am. I woke up to my kids texting me to come make them breakfast. As much as I didn't want to leave, I did. What a great time. I was kinda worried about the way I was "feeling" about him. Too much too fast is all I could think about on the way home. Oh and the smell of him on my shirt. mmmmmmmm!
So now it's Saturday. I know he is going out with friends for dinner and I wanted to go see this band play at Addys. So I go to see the band play with my girlfriend claire and he texts 15 minutes after we get there. Yup, you guessed it, I wussed out and went right to his house. Except this time I took my girlfriend with me. I was already drunk. I had been drinking for about 6 hours. We get to his house, he looked sexy as fuck! It took everything I had for my drunk ass to not just say, um claire, thanks for the ride but, you gotta go!
Now this is where it gets fucked up. I asked for a glass of wine. He gives me a glass of red. He knows I hate red wine yet he thought enough to give my friend white and me red. OMG!!! Cool to mega bitch in a minute. I got so fucking pissed its ridiculous, just because he didn't think to give me the damn white wine. Well that's all I remember from that night. EXCEPT sitting on the side of Sudly Manor at 1am crying my fucking eyes out like some fucking high school girl!!! What the flying fuck!!! seriously! Next thing I remember is my friend picking me up. After that I remember crying in Ethan's lap that I really fucked up and I will probably never see Jon again. I don't recall the last time I cried this hard. Oh yes I do, Memorial Weekend 2009... And if you have read my first blog you know what that was about.
I was right. Jon did text me the next day that he was done. Technically, I asked him if he was done and he said yes, "for now". What the hell is that supposed to mean? I have a pretty good guess. That night I did manage to get a picture of him & I, it's kinda cute. So every day I just look at it and think, "text me something good fucker". Honestly, I don't think it will happen. Why should it? End of story
(final answer:DONE)
UPDATE: SO THIS GUY, JON SMITH (YES REAL NAME), TURNED OUT TO BE A REAL DOUCHE. I ACTUALLY HOPE IS HEART GET CRUSHED
UPDATE: SO THIS GUY, JON SMITH (YES REAL NAME), TURNED OUT TO BE A REAL DOUCHE. I ACTUALLY HOPE IS HEART GET CRUSHED
Friday, September 21, 2012
The New Job
Welcome back! (this was orginially done in march)
I'm sorry its been so long since I have blogged. I finally got a new job. Technically I am a manager of a Le Tache Couples Boutique. Ever hear of it? Well it used to be called MVC Late Night Video. We sell porn, lingerie, toys, sexual aids, and anything sexual, oh and now we sell glass pipes too. Every day is an adventure. I hear stories all day long. Some are interesting, some are boring, and some are down right gross. I have a lot of regulars. A regular is someone who has come in more than twice. I am going to tell a variety of "adventures" that I hear from my customers. So this blog shouldn't be boring. I think I will start by telling you about the various products we sell.
Our lingerie is from Rene Rofe, Sophie B, Shirley of Hollywood, and oh la la sheri. We have teddys, bustiers, panties, crotchless panties, thigh highs, full body suits, sexy shoes, and costumes.
For our array of toys we have, Fetish, bullets, minivibes, rabbits, straight vibes, gspot vibes, anal plugs, anal beads, cock rings (with out without vibes), DP attachments, strap-ons, dongs, life like dongs, pocket pussys, blowup dolls, jackoff jackets
*** crap, I have to go to work already.
I'm sorry its been so long since I have blogged. I finally got a new job. Technically I am a manager of a Le Tache Couples Boutique. Ever hear of it? Well it used to be called MVC Late Night Video. We sell porn, lingerie, toys, sexual aids, and anything sexual, oh and now we sell glass pipes too. Every day is an adventure. I hear stories all day long. Some are interesting, some are boring, and some are down right gross. I have a lot of regulars. A regular is someone who has come in more than twice. I am going to tell a variety of "adventures" that I hear from my customers. So this blog shouldn't be boring. I think I will start by telling you about the various products we sell.
Our lingerie is from Rene Rofe, Sophie B, Shirley of Hollywood, and oh la la sheri. We have teddys, bustiers, panties, crotchless panties, thigh highs, full body suits, sexy shoes, and costumes.
For our array of toys we have, Fetish, bullets, minivibes, rabbits, straight vibes, gspot vibes, anal plugs, anal beads, cock rings (with out without vibes), DP attachments, strap-ons, dongs, life like dongs, pocket pussys, blowup dolls, jackoff jackets
*** crap, I have to go to work already.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Guess What... chicken butt
Hey there blog readers. I hope you have had a good month. I think it has been about that long since I last made a blog. I still haven't found a new job, but I am still looking every day. YES every day. I do have an interview tomorrow. I had asked my oldest daughter what kind of job should I look for that she thought I would enjoy. (as I think in my head, I like sex) Sam (my daughter) says, well what about sex? All I could do was bust out laughing. So for the past few months I have been looking for this "dream job". Guess who calls me today.... A sex shop (adult toys, accessories, lingerie, and movies). So I have an interview tomorrow. I hope I get it, I am sure I'd be great at it, hell who am I kidding- I am awesome at anything I want to be. The pay is about $15k more than I make now and 2 miles from my house. Wish me luck!
I have also been actively pursueing a mate/partner/soulmate. I went out on one date with this guy I met over some dating site (that will remain nameless since I am not getting paid to promote them). He was nothing near what I would normally go for. He wasn't tall, he was covered in tattoos, and all kinds of facial piercings. We had a great time and he was really sweet. He had this soft voice that totally didn't match his looks. I was impressed with myself that I didn't get drunk. But then again, as I preach to my clients, you don't want to get drunk on your first few dates with someone. You have to keep your mind clear so you can make rational decisions. (no beer goggles) I may go out with him again, just not too sure right now. I have set up dates with a couple of other guys, neither one panned out. So if you know of an attractive man who is gainfully employed, knows how to budget his money, has a car, and lives in the NOVA area, hook a sista up! I feel I may be sexually frustrated. I haven't got to see my FWB since New Years. He is a great dad and tries to spend as much time with his kids as possible. And I can respect that, but a woman has needs. Anywho....
I had an amazing weekend this past weekend. Well not WEEKEND, but Saturday. I had to work Saturday at 9am so I didn't go out Friday. I was supposed to go on a date Saturday but that didn't happen. So me and the "kids" (jay, sam, ty, and jess) all went to the Locher Frat House for Tammys birthday party. eeeewwwwwweeeeeeee did someone get wasted. And that someone would be me! I didn't act a fool or do anything super stupid except tell this guy to show me his penis. Here's the way I look at it, if you are going to sit there and continually talk about how big your cock is, you better be prepared to show it. His friend was HOT though. But seriously, at some time I have to stop being attracted to these young guys! I just can't help it. A guy who is 22 will come up and talk to me before a man who is 42, go figure. Ty has decided he is my "house husband". He tells me, you can see who ever you want to outside this door (while pointing to my door) but once you get in this house, we're married. LOL!! Well its so funny because he is a friend of my daughters. I think he is either 19 or 20 and only 5ft 3. This kid is a trip. So what else can I tell you about?
This is a picture from saturday. Its of my daughter Sam and her best friend Jess
So I am talking to my mom again. And I am glad I am. I am still mad at her for what she did, but she is my mom and I love her. She has had the worst 2 weeks EVER. She found out that her beloved best friend (her dog Zoe, an australian shepard) had cancer. Not just one but 2 different cancers. It took her so fast. She had taken Zoe to the vet on Friday and she was gone by Tuesday. My mom is just so miserable and sad. I wish I had the time to go over to her house more right now but since I don't have a license I really can't. I did get to see my sister last weekend too. My god how I have missed her. I have a love for my sister that can not be compared. Since I had my oldest daughter (almost 17 years ago), my sister and I have been best friends. Well that is up until the "incident" that happened a couple of years ago. I just wanted to hug her so bad but she was being really "dry" towards me so I didn't. I did say goodbye to her and say it wasnice to see her, but that was it. Here are some final pictures of Zoe and the family.
So the misery continues. While I was at the party Saturday my best friend of 24 years calls me and tells me that his girlfriend of 8 years came home and told him that she was in love with another man. So that put a minor damper on my buzz for about an hour. I talked to him for a while but then had to go back to my partying. Damn, I hate when my blogs end on a sad note. I hope to blog again Wednesday about my interview tomorrow.
Until then...............
I have also been actively pursueing a mate/partner/soulmate. I went out on one date with this guy I met over some dating site (that will remain nameless since I am not getting paid to promote them). He was nothing near what I would normally go for. He wasn't tall, he was covered in tattoos, and all kinds of facial piercings. We had a great time and he was really sweet. He had this soft voice that totally didn't match his looks. I was impressed with myself that I didn't get drunk. But then again, as I preach to my clients, you don't want to get drunk on your first few dates with someone. You have to keep your mind clear so you can make rational decisions. (no beer goggles) I may go out with him again, just not too sure right now. I have set up dates with a couple of other guys, neither one panned out. So if you know of an attractive man who is gainfully employed, knows how to budget his money, has a car, and lives in the NOVA area, hook a sista up! I feel I may be sexually frustrated. I haven't got to see my FWB since New Years. He is a great dad and tries to spend as much time with his kids as possible. And I can respect that, but a woman has needs. Anywho....
I had an amazing weekend this past weekend. Well not WEEKEND, but Saturday. I had to work Saturday at 9am so I didn't go out Friday. I was supposed to go on a date Saturday but that didn't happen. So me and the "kids" (jay, sam, ty, and jess) all went to the Locher Frat House for Tammys birthday party. eeeewwwwwweeeeeeee did someone get wasted. And that someone would be me! I didn't act a fool or do anything super stupid except tell this guy to show me his penis. Here's the way I look at it, if you are going to sit there and continually talk about how big your cock is, you better be prepared to show it. His friend was HOT though. But seriously, at some time I have to stop being attracted to these young guys! I just can't help it. A guy who is 22 will come up and talk to me before a man who is 42, go figure. Ty has decided he is my "house husband". He tells me, you can see who ever you want to outside this door (while pointing to my door) but once you get in this house, we're married. LOL!! Well its so funny because he is a friend of my daughters. I think he is either 19 or 20 and only 5ft 3. This kid is a trip. So what else can I tell you about?
This is a picture from saturday. Its of my daughter Sam and her best friend Jess
Me and my bestie Ron, he's super wastedpants
me & tammy at her birthday party
Some cute kid. I still can't remember what his name is. Mike? Paul? I have no idea.
So I am talking to my mom again. And I am glad I am. I am still mad at her for what she did, but she is my mom and I love her. She has had the worst 2 weeks EVER. She found out that her beloved best friend (her dog Zoe, an australian shepard) had cancer. Not just one but 2 different cancers. It took her so fast. She had taken Zoe to the vet on Friday and she was gone by Tuesday. My mom is just so miserable and sad. I wish I had the time to go over to her house more right now but since I don't have a license I really can't. I did get to see my sister last weekend too. My god how I have missed her. I have a love for my sister that can not be compared. Since I had my oldest daughter (almost 17 years ago), my sister and I have been best friends. Well that is up until the "incident" that happened a couple of years ago. I just wanted to hug her so bad but she was being really "dry" towards me so I didn't. I did say goodbye to her and say it wasnice to see her, but that was it. Here are some final pictures of Zoe and the family.
Me, Punkee, Mom, Zoe (the black & white one), and Annie
Mia, Sam, and Zoe
In the picture below, you can see some of the tumors on her neck where it is shaved. :(
Zoe Godfrey RIP 12/10-02/12, you will be greatly missed! :'(
Until then...............
Monday, January 23, 2012
Rambling about who know's what
First let me start by saying I don't even wear a watch. Why? You ask.. Well, I am unable to wear watches. I know sounds crazy as shit but it really isn't. I manage to conduct so much electricity in my fabulous body that I kill any watch I wear within 2 months. Yeah that's right! and even better, in the winter time when static is at its best I can touch you and shoot a 3 inch lightening bolt off my finger. that's right, that shit is awesome! so anyone who really knows me, if they see me coming at them with my Harry Potter wand finger sticking out, they know they better run. However, should I forget about my magicial powers and happen to grab a metal door knob I am fucked! My arm goes flying back and a small electrical blast go out my elbow. Sucks balls! And scare the piss out of me. Wow, this blog has really nothing to do with what I just told you about. but I hope it was entertaining enough for you to continue reading.
Confusion, where do I begin. I have a lot of it going on right now. Like why did my boyfriend have to die? Before we consummated the relationship! But I am not going to talk about him so much. Did enough of that my last sappy blog. How about my 16 (almost 17) year old daughter tells me today that my 12 year old daughter asked her last night about sex and loosing your virginity. WHAT!!!! these are my babies! And I have 3 daughters!! So I am super screwed! WOW! and as I am typing this my 9 year old daughter just texted me that she just walked in on the oldest having sex! OMFG!!! If my fucking head wasn't in a whirlwind spin before, it sure is now. I know the girl has sex, I got her birth control. She just hasn't started it yet. I am not going to be a gramma until I am gramma age, and that's like 70! Damn these girls now a days!!! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!
Now I have completely lost focus on what I even wanted to blog about in the first place. So I am forced to go smoke a cigarette and hope it comes back to me or I will just have to ramble some more. Well the cigarette didn't help. OH WELL, more rambling it is.
So I am so bored with my job. I hate interviewing broke ass people everyday that really can not afford our memberships. Oh wait, in case you don't know me, let me tell you a little bit about what I do, I am a Membership Consultant/Relationship Specialist with a professional matchmaking service in the Washington, DC area. So when I get anyone in here that makes under $50k, I am just like- oh gawd, what am I going to do with these people. And of course, they only want to meet people who make $100k or more to take care of them and their 4 kids. Come on people, get real! And even better is when I get the foreign women who come in because their visa is ready to expire so they need to get married to stay in the states. Really????? isn't there dating sites for that? Please don't waste my time. With my job I am in the office 7-10 hours a day, only working about 3 hours. All the rest I am on facebook usually reading http://www.insanemombrain.com/ or watching movies on netflix or playing cards with my boss. I really enjoy those perks but i can not support my kids on this salary (which REALLY sucks!) wahh, wahh, waaaahhhhh! I know I hear your little violins playing. I guess the moral of this story is that I am looking for a new job. I wish selling sex was legal. I'd be a millionaire! I love sex and I love money. Don't judge! You know you would do it too if you knew that no one would ever find out. Just like now, I have to interview some super mega ugly ass middle easterner that doesn't make shit and is shorter than I am. I spent most of my day today sending out my resume. And my resume, well its actually 3 pages long. I haven't kept a job for more than 6 months since 2004. Yup that's how I roll! I get bored real quick and I HATE asshole bosses!
got a client, I'll have to update this tomorrow
xoxoxoxo
Confusion, where do I begin. I have a lot of it going on right now. Like why did my boyfriend have to die? Before we consummated the relationship! But I am not going to talk about him so much. Did enough of that my last sappy blog. How about my 16 (almost 17) year old daughter tells me today that my 12 year old daughter asked her last night about sex and loosing your virginity. WHAT!!!! these are my babies! And I have 3 daughters!! So I am super screwed! WOW! and as I am typing this my 9 year old daughter just texted me that she just walked in on the oldest having sex! OMFG!!! If my fucking head wasn't in a whirlwind spin before, it sure is now. I know the girl has sex, I got her birth control. She just hasn't started it yet. I am not going to be a gramma until I am gramma age, and that's like 70! Damn these girls now a days!!! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!!!
Now I have completely lost focus on what I even wanted to blog about in the first place. So I am forced to go smoke a cigarette and hope it comes back to me or I will just have to ramble some more. Well the cigarette didn't help. OH WELL, more rambling it is.
So I am so bored with my job. I hate interviewing broke ass people everyday that really can not afford our memberships. Oh wait, in case you don't know me, let me tell you a little bit about what I do, I am a Membership Consultant/Relationship Specialist with a professional matchmaking service in the Washington, DC area. So when I get anyone in here that makes under $50k, I am just like- oh gawd, what am I going to do with these people. And of course, they only want to meet people who make $100k or more to take care of them and their 4 kids. Come on people, get real! And even better is when I get the foreign women who come in because their visa is ready to expire so they need to get married to stay in the states. Really????? isn't there dating sites for that? Please don't waste my time. With my job I am in the office 7-10 hours a day, only working about 3 hours. All the rest I am on facebook usually reading http://www.insanemombrain.com/ or watching movies on netflix or playing cards with my boss. I really enjoy those perks but i can not support my kids on this salary (which REALLY sucks!) wahh, wahh, waaaahhhhh! I know I hear your little violins playing. I guess the moral of this story is that I am looking for a new job. I wish selling sex was legal. I'd be a millionaire! I love sex and I love money. Don't judge! You know you would do it too if you knew that no one would ever find out. Just like now, I have to interview some super mega ugly ass middle easterner that doesn't make shit and is shorter than I am. I spent most of my day today sending out my resume. And my resume, well its actually 3 pages long. I haven't kept a job for more than 6 months since 2004. Yup that's how I roll! I get bored real quick and I HATE asshole bosses!
got a client, I'll have to update this tomorrow
xoxoxoxo
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Life hits you you right square in the face with brass knuckles when you least expect it!
So my previous blog was about this man William Stackhouse. So we made up and things were pretty good. He had stopped being a douchebag. On Friday, January 6, 2012 we spent alot of time that day talking about our future together. He was finishing up with his CD and his book. Things were looking up for him. And for us. He wanted the CD to come out then move down here to Virginia with me. It was some of the best conversations we had had. I talked to him on my way home from work. He was hanging out with a friend of his. He said he would call me later. Well he didn't. I was kind of upset, but not really. After all I knew he was with his friend. The next morning I texted him Good Morning. No response from him. That night, I texted him good night. Still no response. OK, now I am starting to get pissed. I tried calling and texting on Monday, still no response. So i just figured he was blowing smoke up my ass. My boss had asked me how William was and if I had talked to him. I said no and made a comment that I now regret. I said his dumbass was probably dead. BEING SARCASTIC!!! Fast forward to today. I came to work in a great mood. I had my whole day planned out. I was going to be productive. I log in to Facebook and the very first thing I see, RIP Will, on his brothers facebook page. I LOST MY SHIT!!!!! So many things went running thru my head. WHAT, WHEN, WHY, WHO WAS HE WITH.
I finally found out that he actually passed on January 7, 2012. The very next day after I last spoke to him. So he never even got to read my texts. I feel so lost. I feel so hurt. We had plans, things to do. I was going to see him on January 28 when my girlfriend and I went back to New Jersey for her boyfriends memorial. they too had just had the same conversation in December and he was killed in Afghanistan on December 11. What are the odds? seriously? That 2 girlfriends, both in long distance relationships, both lose the men they love in less than 1 month apart. My head is killing me, my heart hurts, and my hands wont stop shaking. I would do anything to go back to that night and try and talk him into just going home and not stay at his friends. May, just maybe things would have turned out different.
I finally found out that he actually passed on January 7, 2012. The very next day after I last spoke to him. So he never even got to read my texts. I feel so lost. I feel so hurt. We had plans, things to do. I was going to see him on January 28 when my girlfriend and I went back to New Jersey for her boyfriends memorial. they too had just had the same conversation in December and he was killed in Afghanistan on December 11. What are the odds? seriously? That 2 girlfriends, both in long distance relationships, both lose the men they love in less than 1 month apart. My head is killing me, my heart hurts, and my hands wont stop shaking. I would do anything to go back to that night and try and talk him into just going home and not stay at his friends. May, just maybe things would have turned out different.
William Stackhouse
you are loved and will be greatly missed.
May 7, 1969- January 7, 2012
Ronnie Wildrick
August 22, 1981- December 11, 2011
YOU WERE BOTH LOVED DEARLY! <3 <3
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